


Hero of Potato

by EclipseOfTheWild



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom
Genre: All I know is that it exists so, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I don't know, What Was I Thinking?, Yes a potato is a character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 21:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20089021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EclipseOfTheWild/pseuds/EclipseOfTheWild
Summary: "Suddenly, quiet enveloped the camp, each hero looking at the potato, which was now revealed to be the speaker."Aka: A new hero of Hyrule appears, but is a...potato?!??aka: I regret everything





	Hero of Potato

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, it is me, I don't know what I'm doing, enjoy.

It was a fairly normal day for the heroes. They were currently in Twilight’s Hyrule, travelling through Hyrule Field.

They had fought a few monsters, but other than that, it was fairly peaceful.

“So where are we going, exactly?” Legend asked, “We’ve been wandering this stupid field for like an hour now.”

Twilight turned to face him, “First of all, it’s been 10 minutes; Second of all, we are heading to Ordon Village.”

Legend opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the world suddenly warping around them.

“Aw man, I hoping to see Twi’s village.” Wind pouted as the land reformed to create a new Hyrule.

“Alright, you guys know the drill; any of you recognize this place?” Time asked, sighing.

Nobody spoke up.

“Wait, is this a new Hyrule? Are we getting _another_ hero?” Warriors groaned, “We already have nine! Ten heroes is just plain chaotic.”

“It might be nice to meet a new hero!” Sky spoke up, being the sunshine child he is.

“Chaos, I tell you!” Warriors shouted to the heavens.

Time cut in, “Alright, alright, let’s get moving. We should try and find this new hero quickly.”

Everyone nodded, though some (cough Warriors cough) were more reluctant than others, and they set off into the new world. 

The new Hyrule seemed to be mostly forest, from what the Links could see. There were a few small settlements dotted along the path, but none of them had ever seen a hero, so the search continued until night fell upon the land.

Wind yawned, “Time, can we stop for the night? We’ve been looking for this hero _all day_.”

The eldest hero nodded, “Yeah, I suppose we can set up camp around here.”

All the others collectively sighed in relief.

Twilight looked behind him, “Why are _you_ so relieved, Four? I’ve been carrying you all day!”

Said hero shrugged from his spot on Twilight’s shoulders, “It’s boring sitting around doing nothing all day, you know.”

“Well at least you weren’t walking around some goddess forsaken Hyrule looking for some goddess forsaken hero while _someone_ just sits on Twilight's shoulders the whole time!” Legend snapped.

“Jeez, someone’s grumpy.” Four smirked, jumping down from his perch, “If you really wanted someone to carry you, you should’ve asked.”

To the immense shock of the others, Four lifted Legend off the ground and hefted him over his shoulder.

With an indignant Legend slung over his shoulder, sputtering curses at the smallest hero, Four turned and headed into the woods, seven awestruck heroes following.

They eventually found a small clearing where they hastily set up camp, except for Legend, who was pouting next to a tree.

“Well, I’m going to try and find some food; I’ll be back in a few.” Wild declared, before setting off into the woods.

This Hyrule seemed to be devoid of any and all animals, at least in this particular forest. So far all Wild could find was a bunch of plants and a few fruits.

That would be fine if it was just him, but he had eight other heroes to feed, and fruit salad would hardly do anything to satisfy them. Wild then spotted a single potato lying on the ground with a fairly large bag next to it. Curious, Wild peeked into the bag, finding a fairly large stash of tools, which he ignored in favor of something else. There was a bunch of meat wrapped up in bundles of cloth.

_’Someone must’ve abandoned this stuff here, but why?’_ Wild thought to himself, pulling out the food and storing it in his Sheikah Slate. 

He glanced at the potato that had been sitting next to the bag. After a moment, Wild shrugged and picked up the potato. He could probably do _something_ with it. At the very least, he could make himself a baked potato or something.

As he put the potato away, he could’ve sworn that he heard a voice, but after scanning the area around him, he dismissed it as his imagination. Satisfied with his haul, he headed back to camp.

Dinner consisted of meat skewers with just a small sprinkle of goron spice. Wild decided that he would add the potato to the skewers, for variety. He pulled it out of the Sheikah Slate, only for a voice to call out, “DON’T EAT ME!”

Suddenly, quiet enveloped the camp, each hero looking at the potato, which was now revealed to be the speaker.

Once the potato had everyone’s attention, it cleared its throat, “Goodness, are all you humans this savage? I was simply minding my own business in the forest when suddenly this person,” The potato points one of its now-visible arms at Wild, “Just picks me up and _kidnaps_ me!”

“I wasn’t kidnapping you! I was going to eat you, because you’re potato!” Wild snapped defensively.

“THAT’S WORSE!” The potato screamed, jumping from Wild’s hand and onto the ground, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home! Gosh, I save Hyrule and _this_ is the thanks I get?”

Legend blinked, “Wait, wait, _hold up_, did you say that you _saved Hyrule_?”

“Uh, yeah, what’s it to you?” The potato inquired, turning to threateningly point its tiny sword at Legend.

“Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me.” Warriors caught on, groaning.

Sky unsheathed the Master Sword, ignoring the potato’s sputtering in favor of the light glow of the blade.

After a moment, he sheathed it again, “She says that this _potato_ standing in front of us, is this Hyrule’s hero.”

Everyone just stared at the potato.

“Are you- are you fucking serious?” Legend collapsed on the ground, laughing like a madman, “Hey guys! It’s- it’s the Hero of Potato!”

The potato huffed, “That is my title, yes.”

“This is the best thing that’s happened in my _life_!” 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t find the humor in the fact that I am a hero.” The potato glared at the cackling hero.

Time spoke up, “Well, you see, where we’re from, potatoes are usually…ahem…food.”

Wild nodded eagerly, his hunger apparent. 

“Yeah, and I want some food, so let me cook you!” He reached for the potato, making it screech and quickly back away.

“Wild, you can’t eat the potato.” Time sighed, his tiredness apparent.

“You can’t stop me!” The wild hero lunged at the potato, only to be lifted with its tiny stick arms and thrown straight into the horizon.

Everyone was, for the third time that day, speechless.

A moment passed, “Oh shit, Wild’s dead.” Legend gasped.

Twilight marched out of the camp, muttering angrily.

“Welcome to the group I guess.” Time slipped on his sunglasses and went to sleep.

And with the power of the Hero of Potato, Tater, the evil plaguing all of the Hyrules was quickly vanquished and everyone lived happily ever after, except Wild, who had unfortunately gotten yeeted into the sun, and perished.

And Twilight, who was forever haunted by Wild’s ghost, never having a moment of peace again.


End file.
